Holiday weekend, spring break, warm weather, Opening Day quickly approaching…feels like as good a time as any to do something totally different around these parts. I finalized my 2010 NFL Draft for something elsewhere on the internet last night, so why not open up the list to public ridicule here as well as there?

Not included, unfortunately, are OF/LHP/S Chad Jones, OF/HB Toby Gerhardt, OF/WR Eric Decker, OF/WR Riley Cooper, and, the likely crown jewel of the 2011 NFL Draft and my favorite pro baseball prospect of the bunch, OF/QB Jake Locker. Between you and me, the top 24ish prospects ranked or so are where I feel most confident; once I get to the spot where my favorite team picks in the first round, my already meager knowledge base tends to dissipate. Keep that in mind as you check out the big board at the end.

As much as I love the NFL Draft now, I REALLY loved it back in the day. REALLY loved it. If it’s in ALL CAPS, bold, and italics, then you know I’m serious. We’re talking taping and then re-watching games on my sister’s 14″ 2-in-1 TV/VCR combo. Ah, life before the internet boom. If I had high speed internet back then, perhaps we’d all be reading the fantastic insight from the super successful website Football Draft Report right now. If that was the case, you would have been able to read gems like the ones I recently recovered from my 2002 NFL Draft notes whilst cleaning out my office…

1. No prospect reminds me more of a young Troy Aikman than David Carr. (Good call!)
2. No prospect reminds me more of a young Warren Sapp than Wendell Bryant. (Well, in my defense, they were both large men who played football!)
3. No prospect reminds me more of a young Derek Brooks than Napoleon Harris. (Maybe I just wanted a guy named Napoleon to succeed for a change…)
4. Julius Peppers is a classic boom or bust prospect. Smart money is on the latter. (Terrible, terrible, terrible. I think the 16-year old me was just happy to use “latter” correctly here…)
5. Quentin Jammer = best player in class (Not the stupidest thing I’ve ever said, but still not too bright…)
6. Ryan Sims = most ready to play right away in class (Still not sure why he was as bad as he was, but, boy, what a nondescript playing career he’s in the midst of…)
7. Jabar Gaffney should have a long, undistinguished career as a journeyman WR (Alright, that wasn’t a bad prediction actually…)
8. Antonio Bryant will have a better career than any other receiver in his class (Considering Donte Stallworth, Ashley Lelie, and Gaffney were all seen as better bets at the time, I like this call…)
9. Kalimba Edwards > Dwight Freeney (Arguably as bad as the Aikman to Carr comp…)
10. Josh Reed = Troy Brown with more speed (This may not have worked out, but I’ll defend Josh Reed’s value to the death…)
11. TJ Duckett = Eddie George (In a parallel universe where the toilets actually flush counter clockwise, maybe…)
12. DeShaun Foster will go down as the best runner in the draft while Clinton Portis will be a steady starter, but never a star (First and last time I’ve ever doubted a Hurricane…)
13. Lamont Thompson = four time All Pro safety (What an oddly specific, and truly terrible, prediction…)

With my reputation as a brilliant football draft prognosticator now a matter of public record, please do enjoy yet another faceless hack’s list of most promising 2010 NFL Draft prospects.

2010 NFL DRAFT FIRST ROUND BIG BOARD

1. Suh
2. Clausen
3. Berry
4. Bradford
5. McCoy
6. McClain
7. Thomas
8. Haden
9. Spiller
10. Okung
11. Bulaga
12. Iupati
13. Morgan
14. Pierre-Paul
15. Price
16. Wilson
17. Graham
18. Campbell
19. Davis
20. T. Williams
21. Bryant
22. Mays
23. Bowman
24. Kindle
25. Hughes
26. Gresham
27. Best
28. Brown
29. Pouncey
30. D. Williams
31. Tate
32. Odrick